How I am getting over a major heartbreak

As you know from last week's newsletter, life has thrown me a curveball -- a breakup after 13 years. We thought we'd grow old together, but the universe had other plans for us.

That first week was tough. Lots of tears. I knew it was time for extra self-care, and I wanted to share what has worked for me.

Curious why heartbreaks are so tough to overcome? Check out this TED talk: How to Fix a Broken Heart by Guy Winch, Psychologist and Author of How to Fix a Broken Heart.

Let's get to the good stuff: three tools that have helped me during these challenging times. Maybe they'll help you, too, whether you're dealing with a breakup, loss, or major health issues.

Tool #1: Feel your emotions

When faced with difficult situations, we often try to escape our feelings. We distract ourselves by eating pints of ice cream, drinking too much wine, or whatever we do to escape and numb ourselves.

But what if we allowed ourselves to surf these waves of emotions instead of jumping off? What if we sat with our tears and let them flow? What if we genuinely acknowledged our feelings and waited until they passed?

I practiced it diligently during that first week: letting the tears flow and noticing my feelings. This is the heart of yoga, both on and off the mat: to be present in each moment, however challenging.

Emotions are like passing clouds—they come and go. We have to allow ourselves to feel them fully without judgment. Remember, they are temporary; we learn and grow by embracing them. And that is a much better option than suppressing our emotions, which can lead to anxiety, depression, and other stress-related illnesses.

Tool #2: Write it out

I don't usually journal. I know all the scientifically proven benefits of journaling, but I have never gotten into the habit.

But during the initial days of the breakup, I put my thoughts down on paper and found it very cathartic. This practice helped me gain clarity and perspective amidst the turmoil. Writing felt like talking to a non-judgy friend.

What was I writing about? I found myself jotting down the good and bad of the relationship, what I have learned about myself from the relationship, and my fears of being alone and single at age 53. I also put down what I'm looking forward to now that I'm flying solo.

Tool #3: Get outside

Nature has a fantastic way of healing us. For years, I've been walking outside at least 30 minutes a day to clear my head, move my body, and get fresh air. It's a key component of my self-care routine. I upped the frequency to 2-3x per day during the initial days after the breakup.

Instead of listening to podcasts, which I usually do on my daily walks, I listened to the world around me to calm the craziness that was going on in my head. And I donned a stylish pair of sunglasses for those teary moments.

These three tools helped me get through that awful first week. Since then, I have been feeling better by the day. Three weeks in, and I'm starting to feel like myself again.

Before I forget, there is one more important thing: reach out to your friends when you are going through a tough time. Spending time with girlfriends has been the perfect distraction and picker-upper.

This quote from Steve Maraboli, speaker and best-selling author, sums it up nicely:

"Cry. Forgive. Learn. Move on. Let your tears water the seeds of your future happiness."

Remember, we've got this! We are strong and can get through anything.

Best, Christine

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