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Spending holiday time with family can trigger anxieties

With the holidays only a couple of weeks away, you might be feeling a bit anxious. I know that the holidays should be a joyous time, a time when we get to spend more time with family and friends. But it tends to also be a time filled with stress.

Sometimes the very traditions that give meaning to the holiday season can trigger old fears, hurts, and anxieties.

Most of us love our families. But they have a tendency to push our buttons (as I sometimes say, they were the ones who "installed" those buttons in the first place, so they know best how to push them).

To ensure that your holidays will be "the most wonderful time of the year", here are some tips for you:

1. Reflect on what's important for you. Take a few moments to reflect on which holiday traditions and values are important to you (and which aren't). How do you want to spend the holidays? Having an understanding of what you want will make it easier for you to decline invitations and requests that aren't aligned so you can make room for the things you want to do.
2. Set boundaries, and don't be afraid to say no. If you don't want to attend a certain event or don't have time to bake a cake for the potluck dinner, state so clearly. If you don't want to spend time with unvaccinated family members, state that clearly: "I'm not comfortable spending the holidays with family members who're not vaccinated. I'll stay home this year. Maybe I can join via Zoom after dinner?" State your boundaries in a calm, simple, and direct way without blaming others (even if you think they deserve it).
3. Reel in your expectations. If you're expecting a perfect holiday, you'll be disappointed. Your sister will say something inappropriate at the family dinner. Your parents will ask you that loaded question you get every single year. Gifts will not make it on time (because they're stuck at the West Coast ports). Take a deep breath. It will be okay.
4. Come up with a plan. We tend to feel stressed when we think we don't have control over a situation. To preempt that, come up with a game plan ahead of time for potentially stressful situations. For example, if you know that spending time with your brother triggers you, plan to limit the amount of time you spend one-on-one with him. If busy shopping malls trigger you, don't go there the weekend before Christmas.
5. Use this simple breathing technique to calm yourself down. If you're ready to blow, take a walk outside for a few minutes, excuse yourself to the bathroom, or find an empty corner in the house for this simple breath technique: Stand with your feet hip-width apart, your spine straight, and your shoulders rolled back. Then inhale for a count of four. Hold your breath for a count of four. Exhale for a count of four. And count to four before inhaling. Do this breath cycle a few more times. You'll feel calmer within a couple of minutes.

What are your strategies for enjoying the holidays?

Happy holidays!

Best,

Christine

Wellness & Yoga with Christine

Inspiring you to bring wellness into your life and providing you with the tools to do so.​​​​